Jill - glad it helped. Your scarves are so beautiful - I want to see them sell!
Janice, I took a look at your page and I love it! Actually I spent quite a long time on your site! It's so interesting and I especially loved your article about pet store puppies. Puppy mills are one of my pet hates. I remember the time, too, when Harrods of London had a wild animal department - they literally kept tiger cubs and I recall an alligator and a panther complete with diamante collar on the top floor. Unbelievable. Mind you, I was a student in London at the time so we're talking a long time ago!
Anyway, I digress...
I love your writing. It's humourous and at the same time knowledgeable. I love how you appeal to your reader's issues and blend it with your own experience. Excellent job.
I do have a few suggestions (sorry, I just can't help myself... ).
I like the headline but might add on the word "Announcing" there at the start - it just makes it stand out more. I know that means Analyze it! will give you a warning about the keyword not being early enough but it's not pushing it back by much.
Now I would add a sub-heading which appeals to the issue(s) people who will want this book have. Something like:
Are you a new Shih Tzu owner looking for advice about your new pet?
Struggling with frustrating behaviors, training difficulties, worrisome feeding concerns or persistent health problems?
Or an experienced owner with a perfect pooch who just wants to know more about how to give your dog quality care?
Whatever your need, I can help...
Shih Tzu diaries to the rescue! (I love that line!)
And then the image of the book.
The next section, don't start with the story of your dog (although I loved that, too!) - think about starting with this sentence:
"Did you know that the number one complaint about the breed is their stubbornness?"
... and expand it a little, so something like:
"Did you know that the number one complaint about the breed is their stubbornness? If a Shih Tzu already owns you, you'll know this only too well! And if you're about to bring one home, you'll soon learn!
Let me tell you a story..."
- and then the story about your own girl.
So my point is for every section, think about pulling the reader in straight away. So for example this sub-heading:
"My Shih Tzu Reminds Me of My Two-Year-Old"
could be altered to...
"Does your Shih Tzu Remind You of a Two Year Old?
Now, the first set of information about the book I'd be tempted to bring a little higher on the page. You started to address the reader's potential problems, now start to tell them how you're going to help. So this section...
Shih Tzu Diaries: The Shih Tzu Information You Need (all in one place)
Could come under the 2 year old section, with an additional bit before the sub-head such as
"Whatever your ShihTzu issue, together we can deal with it. I am asked so many questions about Shis Tzus that I decided to write a book...
Shih Tzu Diaries: The Shih Tzu Information You Need (all in one place)"
and then this great sentence which I've taken from lower down:
"I asked over 400 Shih Tzu owners one simple question. "What is the one thing that you wished you had know before you got your first Shih Tzu." Their concerns and frustrations are addressed in every chapter of the book."
- what a GREAT selling point!
... and then the rest of that section. Then revert to the "Quirky behaviors" section.
So all the time as you read down the page, you're acknowledging problems or concerns, and then telling them "don't worry - I can help!".
It's only a question of tweaking, Janice. The content is all there and it's great.
About images: for the chapters outline you have some lovely pics. I'd like to see one or two in the main body of text, too. Do you have (I'm sure you do!) images of your own dogs? I'd tend to sprinkle a few around the page to give a touch of authenticity. So for example, when you talk about Hanna going for a joy run, do you have a joyful pic of her? I realise it's not a pic of the book but remember: we are PREselling here, giving our reader confidence that we know what we're talking about.
Two final practical points: put a little white space between the end of one section and the start of another, so for example...
... and open the PDF in a new window so your customer has your site still open when she downloads it.
You've put a lot of work into this page, Janice, and it shows. But I have one final question about this...
"as if the product were completed, which it is, just needs a little tweaking".
Are you by any chance a perfectionist?? How much tweaking is there, and is it absolutely necessary? If so - fine. But don't weigh yourself down by trying to make it perfect first time. You can always go back and tweak it later.
Remember - Christmas is only, let me see, 70 sleeps away, and what a great gift this would make!
Hope this is helpful for you.
, I will come back to yours a little later today. I am coughing like a 40-a-day smoker and keep needing to take breaks).