A wide-open SBI! Forum that discusses how to sell (vs. PREsell). Includes general discussions on copywriting (download and read "Make Your Words Sell!"), monetization, any problems (ex., ad-blockings), Conversion Rates, A/B split testing, and more!
NOTE: For discussions on specific TYPES of monetization, please see the forums immediately below.
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Moderator: Elly from professional-counselling.com

#1383429 by Jill from Mullengudgery
Mon Oct 09, 2017 12:35 pm
Thanks, Turenne - very helpful. It never occurred to me to change the size of the video. I see a large 'video learning curve' sweeping into sight!

So I have done that and worked out how to centre it (did it before reading about the code!) by using the grid and adjusting its margins in BB2. Looks much better.

I did try changing the L - R position of that text but didn't like the result so left it as is, also tried central positioning but the original looks easier to read, to my eyes.

I did an email mail-out a couple of hours ago (to all and sundry - I rarely, if ever do that so stood a chance of responses). Have had 10 answers to the little survey so far.

Thanks again for your observations (kind remarks) and suggestions. Much appreciated.

#1383483 by Cath, SiteSell Content Team
Tue Oct 10, 2017 9:36 am

Morning all,

And apologies for being absent for so long. I've got a chest infection, the result of so much dust as they renovate our house post-earthquake, which is making me very slow and tired. Or of course that could be my age... :lol::lol:

Jill, I took a look at your sales page and love it. It's thorough, gives great advice, not salesy, and the video is a brilliant touch. Excellent!

If I have a couple of points they're probably "nit-picky" so ignore them if you want...

Your product is satisfying a desire - to have some beautiful and luxurious - and unique - silk scarves. It's very much appealing to emotion.

So the first headline: "Do you love to buy silk scarves" I might consider altering for this reason: you use a great emotional word - "love" - but follow it up with the "buy" word. People may be put off by that because they don't necessarily want to be sold to this early on in the page. So how about something like "Do you love the feel of silk scarves?" and then carry on underneath with that theme - how good silk feels against the skin etc. which you cover in the paragraphs between the pics. That is ideal - just make it the first thing you say.

Now in this sentence: "Can you imagine how magical this pure silk scarf feels, tied in a simple knot?" you have an ideal tie-in to the video (haha that pun was not intended, I only realised when I read it back! :lol: ). Why not move it up and make it the answer to a problem? It will immediately connect your audience.

So maybe something like "But wait! Do you tie yourself in knots trying to tie even a simple knot? Do you envy celebrities who seem to have the knack of always looking glamorous in their elegant scarves, while you can never get the same effect? Let me share some secrets with you..."

So that has a double impact: a) your visitor knows you're there to help, and b) it keeps her on the page a little longer. The video is excellent by the way, I agree with everyone. Very clear, short enough to keep the attention and so simple! (Italians love their scarves but I can never make mine tie properly!). I'd like to see the close-up / slow-mo thing too.

This headline: "Do you buy scarves online? Are you a collector?" is good but I'd maybe just slant it a tiny bit differently, so something like: "Do you love buying scarves online, or are you scared to commit?" With a follow-up of "It may be easier and quicker to buy online, but it comes with disadvantages" and the rest of that section.

Now... there's their problem. Loving scarves and wanting them is not a problem, but knowing about quality and colour etc is. So that's where you come in...

How about a paragraph under the "problems" paragraph headed by something like: "Let me help you!" and then a blurb about your (very obvious) talents as a designer of the most beautiful scarves. It's there, but it's not obvious enough. Sell yourself!

So in that "let me help you" paragraph, highlight what you do...

  • Do you love wearing colours that always seem to lift your spirits? I design using colours and patterns inspired by xyz
  • Are you a collector of scarves? I work in limited editions etc etc
  • Are you looking for a special gift for a valued friend? Allow me to write a personalised message etc etc
and so on.

Now I just have one final question. What is your most wanted response on this page? Is it to sell scarves, or is it to get people to respond to your questionnaire? Because when I came to that part of the page I wasn't sure where to go. Saying "here's a buy button" and then "Thank you so much for your help." confuses me. I love your scarves so I'm tempted to buy one, but here you are sounding unsure about your product (I'm being a devil's advocate here Jill).

I would take the China / Australia pros and cons bit off this page and make it a separate page. It gives you another page of content! And also doesn't confuse. It's clear that you've gone through what all your gorgeous scarves can do to brighten my life and now you have the "buy" button. Fine! that's what I was expecting. I want to buy your scarves!

You could link to the questionnaire bit from the bottom of that page. So if I don't click a "buy" button, I can click something else. You could phrase it something like "China or Australia: which provides best value?" and use that entire section plus questionnaire.

OK so - there are some nit-picky comments for you to chew over. But please remember: these are suggestions and they're my point of view. They are not necessarily any better than what you have. All I try to do with comments is to give you all something to consider.

You know your own audience best. Think about them, and take or leave my comments as they do or don't apply.

And let me reiterate once again Jill - I love your designs and I love that page. :D

#1383524 by Janice from Creede
Tue Oct 10, 2017 9:55 pm
Hi All,

I was beginning to get this challenge confused with the Monetization Challenge, but confused is quickly becoming my middle name.

I wasn't going to post my review because I didn't have the product for which the review is for finished and ready to go. I was torn between writing a review about a future product and writing one as if the product were completed, which it is, just needs a little tweaking. I changed my mind though, as I've been working on it here and there since the challenge began and I'm a bit stuck.

If anyone wants to take a look, I'd be forever grateful. Here's the link: [Domain Private]/shih-tzu-information.html

The link is live but should not be showing up on google (hopefully)
#1383531 by Jill from Mullengudgery
Tue Oct 10, 2017 11:00 pm
Cath, has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely BRILLIANT?

(Yes, repeatedly?)

I agree with all your (inspired by experience) suggestions and can't wait to implement them. I am away from home at present but will do that in a couple of days and report back to all my kind helpers here.

Very sorry that you have been ill...can imagine that all the stress of the earthquake and renovations would have made a fairly toxic mixture with the dust. Look after yourself.

#1383768 by Claude from hamradiosecrets.com
Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:24 pm
Hi everyone,

I created two reviews.

I published the first one on Oct 05 (forgot to mention it here)

I published the second one today

#1383801 by Mary from Mico
Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:45 am
Hi Claude,

Review of the HF Vertical Antena: You wrote a wonderfully informative page! You lost me with the lingo, but I'm not your audience. I do have radio friends and recognize that they will appreciate what you've written.

Structure/writing-wise, the first thing I notice is your use of the first person. You can search your page for "I ", searching for the I with a space to see places where you can switch to second person voice. This is what I've struggled to repair on my own sites. Cath has written about it in several places and most recently on the newest Sitesell blog post.

http://www.sitesell.com/blog/2017/10/in ... ement.html

Another challenge I face is that I have so many vertical images that I want to use for adding a Pinterest description. I'm trying to solve that by having a vertical image at the top of the page so Facebook will have a proper image and then a horizontal image further down the page with the Pinterest button.

At-a-glance: Would I buy?

Yes. If I could see at-a-glance where to click. I'm a price skimmer and like to see the price or a link whereby to find the price as I weigh whether it's worth my time to finish reading the article.

Hm... and just as I was going to click to another page I notice that you've done your breadcrumbs differently than I. I thought that the last link was to be to the self same page. Am I seeing that well? I was expecting:


But hovered and saw:

Your second review? I skimmed this one. The other page had I 26 times. I see it 17 times on this page. You might be able to reduce that by a third to a half for better engagement Cath-style.

Again, I'd like to see a buy now button at the bottom or an image that clicks to the product for sale.

Anyway, just some ideas.

#1383828 by Claude from hamradiosecrets.com
Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:47 pm
Mary from Mico wrote:I thought that the last link was to be to the self same page.

Oups! Good catch. Thanks for pointing this out. That is one of the very few disadvantages of using cloned pages to start a new one. One has to be very careful and attentive to details.

I tend to use I when I share my opinion on a product that I use. (Four I' in this short sentence alone :shock: )
See what I mean? I find it hard to do otherwise. That's how I see a "review" page. Nevertheless, I'll look into it to see if I could not improve things a bit.

The MWR on these two pages is not to sell the product that I am reviewing. They are there to reinforce my credibility as a ham radio antenna expert.

And now that you mention it, you are quite right. I should take my reader directly to my ebook sales page on HF antennas ... instead of relying on him/her finding my other links to it (top left column, top right column, bottom of page). I will look into that. I should take the next step and turn a ROAR into $ALE$ :D

Thanks Mary for taking the time. Much appreciated.

#1383844 by Mary from Mico
Sat Oct 14, 2017 6:20 pm

Hello Claude.

You are so right about the danger of a cloned page. Me? I make a clone from a T2 that is then to be cloned for T3s. Your experience shows me to make my "content 3" bread crumb obviously empty, so I'm more likely to catch it. One lady here, Cat?, makes a big red bar with white text as a reminder for this sort of thing. Maybe that could help, too.

ABSOLUTELY monetize those pages!!!

You are obviously the expert.

Monetize the images and names of the product with a link to the product itself for sale (I myself expect this) and monetize the page for your ebooks top and bottom.

As for the following text, I know what you mean! I have the same fault. I'd like to give this a try myself:

I tend to use I when I share my opinion on a product that I use. (Four I' in this short sentence alone :shock: )
See what I mean? I find it hard to do otherwise. That's how I see a "review" page. Nevertheless, I'll look into it to see if I could not improve things a bit.

How's this?

"You tend to use I when you share your opinion on a product that you use. (Four I' in this short sentence alone [reduced to one] :shock:)

See what happens? [You is understood.] You find it hard to do otherwise. That's how you see a "review" page. Nevertheless, you've given me a perspective by which to look into it to see how to improve things a bit. [Got rid of a negative, too!]"

You see? It's kind of a first/third-persony second person. We do it all the time. It universalizes your words. [I added a y in front of our.]

Strike. We do it all the time.

You know? You do it all the time.

You're sharing your review and there you go describing the products through your friend's eyes. They know that you (I) are writing about it, yet this is the way I'm understanding this business of writing TO the customer.

Me? I'd started my first site in the third person. Super stiff!

'Just an idea.

#1383851 by Claude from hamradiosecrets.com
Sat Oct 14, 2017 8:36 pm
Mary from Mico wrote:You're sharing your review and there you go describing the products through your friend's eyes. They know that you (I) are writing about it, yet this is the way I'm understanding this business of writing TO the customer.


I'm going to research this point of view further. To a certain extent, you might have a point.

Right now, this concept gives me the impression that I'm putting words in my reader's mouth. There is a delicate balance somewhere in there that I'm going to have to learn to strike.

Food for thought and experimentation.

Thanks for taking the time to share this with me.

#1383874 by Cath, SiteSell Content Team
Sun Oct 15, 2017 10:24 am

Morning all!

Jill - glad it helped. :D Your scarves are so beautiful - I want to see them sell!

Janice, I took a look at your page and I love it! Actually I spent quite a long time on your site! It's so interesting and I especially loved your article about pet store puppies. Puppy mills are one of my pet hates. I remember the time, too, when Harrods of London had a wild animal department - they literally kept tiger cubs and I recall an alligator and a panther complete with diamante collar on the top floor. Unbelievable. Mind you, I was a student in London at the time so we're talking a long time ago!

Anyway, I digress...

I love your writing. It's humourous and at the same time knowledgeable. I love how you appeal to your reader's issues and blend it with your own experience. Excellent job.

I do have a few suggestions (sorry, I just can't help myself... :roll: ).

I like the headline but might add on the word "Announcing" there at the start - it just makes it stand out more. I know that means Analyze it! will give you a warning about the keyword not being early enough but it's not pushing it back by much.

Now I would add a sub-heading which appeals to the issue(s) people who will want this book have. Something like:

Are you a new Shih Tzu owner looking for advice about your new pet?
Struggling with frustrating behaviors, training difficulties, worrisome feeding concerns or persistent health problems?
Or an experienced owner with a perfect pooch who just wants to know more about how to give your dog quality care?

Whatever your need, I can help...

Shih Tzu diaries to the rescue! (I love that line!)

And then the image of the book.

The next section, don't start with the story of your dog (although I loved that, too!) - think about starting with this sentence:

"Did you know that the number one complaint about the breed is their stubbornness?"

... and expand it a little, so something like:

"Did you know that the number one complaint about the breed is their stubbornness? If a Shih Tzu already owns you, you'll know this only too well! And if you're about to bring one home, you'll soon learn!

Let me tell you a story..."

- and then the story about your own girl.

So my point is for every section, think about pulling the reader in straight away. So for example this sub-heading:

"My Shih Tzu Reminds Me of My Two-Year-Old"

could be altered to...

"Does your Shih Tzu Remind You of a Two Year Old?

Now, the first set of information about the book I'd be tempted to bring a little higher on the page. You started to address the reader's potential problems, now start to tell them how you're going to help. So this section...

Shih Tzu Diaries: The Shih Tzu Information You Need (all in one place)

Could come under the 2 year old section, with an additional bit before the sub-head such as

"Whatever your ShihTzu issue, together we can deal with it. I am asked so many questions about Shis Tzus that I decided to write a book...

Shih Tzu Diaries: The Shih Tzu Information You Need (all in one place)"

and then this great sentence which I've taken from lower down:

"I asked over 400 Shih Tzu owners one simple question. "What is the one thing that you wished you had know before you got your first Shih Tzu." Their concerns and frustrations are addressed in every chapter of the book."

- what a GREAT selling point!

... and then the rest of that section. Then revert to the "Quirky behaviors" section.

So all the time as you read down the page, you're acknowledging problems or concerns, and then telling them "don't worry - I can help!".

It's only a question of tweaking, Janice. The content is all there and it's great.

About images: for the chapters outline you have some lovely pics. I'd like to see one or two in the main body of text, too. Do you have (I'm sure you do!) images of your own dogs? I'd tend to sprinkle a few around the page to give a touch of authenticity. So for example, when you talk about Hanna going for a joy run, do you have a joyful pic of her? I realise it's not a pic of the book but remember: we are PREselling here, giving our reader confidence that we know what we're talking about.

Two final practical points: put a little white space between the end of one section and the start of another, so for example...

janice1.jpg (64.19 KiB) Viewed 713 times

... and open the PDF in a new window so your customer has your site still open when she downloads it.

You've put a lot of work into this page, Janice, and it shows. But I have one final question about this...

"as if the product were completed, which it is, just needs a little tweaking".

Are you by any chance a perfectionist?? How much tweaking is there, and is it absolutely necessary? If so - fine. But don't weigh yourself down by trying to make it perfect first time. You can always go back and tweak it later.

Remember - Christmas is only, let me see, 70 sleeps away, and what a great gift this would make!

Hope this is helpful for you.

PS Claude, I will come back to yours a little later today. I am coughing like a 40-a-day smoker and keep needing to take breaks).
#1383898 by Janice from Creede
Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:56 pm

Oh, my goodness, Cath...I don't even know where to begin to thank you for your brilliant review. It went above and beyond my wildest expectations. You sure know how to overdeliver. I am definitely going to go back and implement your suggestions.

I think one of the biggest struggles was how to organize it so that I was "bringing in the reader," and your suggestions gave me just what I needed to move on.

I was shocked at your digression but I shouldn't have been.

I remember the time, too, when Harrods of London had a wild animal department - they literally kept tiger cubs and I recall an alligator and a panther complete with diamante collar on the top floor. Unbelievable.

We experienced what can happen when people check out the wild animal department, and it happened not that far from where we live. It's not much fun chasing a bunch of wild animals who happen to get loose. Thankfully, in this particular instance, the animals were all caught and transferred to a zoo where they could be cared for properly.

Are you by any chance a perfectionist?? How much tweaking is there, and is it absolutely necessary?

OKay, so someone finally found out about my little secret. :lol::oops::lol: Yes, this has plagued me all my life and I'm sure has had a negative effect on what I've done with my SBI sites. But, you've given me the motivation to get that book published so I can start to promote it before all those sleeps before Christmas come to an end.

Finally, I do hope you feel better soon and that the work on your house will come to completion soon. That can't be good for your health. Maybe a respirator??
#1383909 by Jill from Mullengudgery
Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:19 am

Hi Cath and all

Here's the update, along the lines that you suggested, Cath, with a link to the extra page (split off for the survey):

[Domain Private]/buy-scarves.html

I am on the point of altering the file info (re-direct) but hestitating in case it all vanishes (there is a very red warning!).

I probably need the re-direct as I sent out links for the survey before thinking that action through - have had 20+ responses and there will probably be more as people don't often deal with half interesting requests straight away.

I have already learned a few things through that process:

    1. My thank you page was ambiguous, so have fixed that for future submissions (the horse has bolted for the others).
    2. Several people emailed me direct with reasons for their responses. So I have now included a text box for that.
    3. As with all surveys it's hard to know exactly what to ask and I suspect that some people might be responding in the way that they think I would like!

Thanks again for your interest and help. Cath I do hope that you can rest - sit in the sun? - so that you will soon be well again. Don't push yourself!

#1384023 by Timothy from Glen Hope
Tue Oct 17, 2017 2:14 am
Rule #1: Break all the rules. Rule #2: Dazzle them with brilliance or baffle them with **profanity auto removed**. Then ask for forgiveness (if you're wrong) Been working on this page since January..Here is my contribution to this challenge:
[Domain Private]/jquery-accordion-boxes.html

Please forgive me for not being a regular participant. I have been tracking this thread, and lurking about, and I read other peoples posts and I contemplate what should be my contribution? I ask myself why would anyone care about what I have to say?

I think whatever I say may be deemed self promotion and I'll get banned for being an asshole (not removed as a profanity). So, it takes a lot of courage for me to say this.Please don't buy this product, just give your opinion and tell us if the page needs work.

Thanks in advance
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