Need help with your site? Showing it off? Want someone's opinion about the design, layout, social side, or a specific page? Need a fresh eye? THIS is the place! And remember... pay it forward. C'mon back and help someone who asks for the same. Help and be helped. We recommend that you ask for a full site review once you have 10 pages (including a couple Tier 3s).

Moderator: Maria from Agness

#1380909 by Karen from Mackey
Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:18 pm
It was recommended that I have some help with writing the "About Me" page. They also wanted me make changes and then post a before and after pages.

The first link is what is already on the site. It was one of the first pages that we wrote and was published in 2015. I have been told that this is stiff / mechanical and did not connect with the reader.

[Domain Private]/about-kgmcrafts.html

So we reread MYCP and rewrote the page. We have revised it several times and think it is 100% better. Should we make even more changes?

[Domain Private]/about-us-at-kgmcrafts.html

Please critique. Does the new page need to be better? Does it connect with you? Especially my target audience of parents of 4 - 8 year olds?

Also this page did not pass analyze It The keyword is not in a subtitle, it is not in the first 90 characters, etc. I feel that if I made the changes the writing would become stiff and mechanical.
Thanks for your time,
#1380979 by margarita from USA
Sun Sep 10, 2017 10:08 pm
Hi I thought that the about me page was really cute!
I like the picture of you two. I think that is so sweet that
A mother and daughter have a site together! Only thing I wished to
see was a picture of you two working on an actual craft together
in action :D
Hope this helps! :D
#1381070 by Karen from Mackey
Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:53 pm
Thanks for the response
I am glad that I don't have to pass Analyze It!.
I will consider making a picture of us doing crafts. Probably we will make a video sometime in the future.
#1381217 by Cari from
Thu Sep 14, 2017 7:45 pm
HI Karen, I loved your writing style and thought it was informal, friendly and perfect for a craft site! Loved your headings which immediately spoke to of someone with an unusual way of looking at the world (which I liked) I think the only thing I wasn't crazy about was that I found that very blue left hand column a bit distracting and kept pulling my eye away from your actual page. I don't know if that was what you wanted or not, but I did think that maybe a slightly more muted blue might be better.
#1381222 by Karen from Mackey
Thu Sep 14, 2017 9:10 pm
Cari Thanks for the review. I am glad that you liked the writing style. As you can see we are in the process of changing the style slightly so that hopefully it will be more engaging.
BTW I visited your site. It is very interesting. Something I will need to read more. When I have the time. :)
#1381233 by Cari from
Thu Sep 14, 2017 11:58 pm
Glad you found it interesting:) It's a subject that totally absorbs me:)
#1382463 by Kathy from Mintaro
Thu Sep 28, 2017 8:13 am
You have found your unique "voice"...lovely, style of talking with your readers. I am loving your About Page.
#1382488 by Karen from Mackey
Thu Sep 28, 2017 3:38 pm
Thanks for the kind words. We are also getting some help from a Site Pro.
Similar Topics Statistics Last post
Home Page and Site Review
1, 2, 3 by Marylyn from Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:18 am
44 Replies
by David from California
Sat May 27, 2017 10:29 pm
sales page review
by Sharon from Maple Springs Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:05 pm
7 Replies
by Sharon from Maple Springs
Thu May 11, 2017 3:59 am
Review of Home Page please
by Rachel from Northampton Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:26 am
3 Replies
by Rachel from Northampton
Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:48 pm
Rewritten pages for review please
by Kim from New Farm Tue Apr 25, 2017 2:55 am
6 Replies
by Kim from New Farm
Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:20 am
Review: The Best Nutrition in the World
1, 2 by Ed from Summerlee Fri Sep 29, 2017 6:25 pm
17 Replies
by Dee from Cape Cod
Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:32 am

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest