Sun Apr 30, 2017 6:08 am
Congratulations on stepping out of the box! I knew about your MS but not the thyroid disease. I have the same thyroid disease along with the sometimes severe depression. Knowing your extremities confirms what I've always thought about you. That you were a SUPERWOMAN! Not like a "nice" person (which you are, indeed) but like Lois Lane.
I reviewed your two pages and will tell you what I think. Like I have said to Ken Evoy at times. Well, since you ask.
Both pages are outstanding! The second one, to the prospect, is so good it reads like a professional copywriter wrote it.
You could not have done a better job on graphic choices and placements. They are superb!
However, on the second page I don't like the beginning, "Wanna collaborate?" I personally view "wanna" as slang, even tho I don't know of but one dictionary that says it is. I think 'Want to collaborate?" would be shinier/classier. Collaborate is an awesome and inviting word. IMO the perfect choice.
And then the end. "Get in touch and let's get together." I think a short and sweet ending would be "Get in touch and let's talk!" That would be a good invite and close.
I can hear, 'Want to collaborate?"
"Then get in touch and let's talk."
"OK, here's my name and address."
Jackie, you're going to do great with this and finally get paid for all your hard work.
As far as your resistance is concerned, it's scary out there and I think many of us would have the same issues. The way you overcome that is to jump in the way you are doing and keep on going. Ken has your back.
Again, congratulations on this and the milestones you have reached with your website business!